But Look at All You Have!

There are endless ways to acknowledge and magnify the imperfections in our lives by giving them way more attention than we do to what is RIGHT with us. There was a time only recently when to the external eye it might appear I lost it all--my whole world seemed to be crumbling and everything I knew and loved--including my most important relationships----were at an instant gone. Try telling someone how lucky they are about this or that when they are curled up in their grief and unable to take a breath. But even I, when I was able to pick my head up and look around, was able to notice that through the darkness of the smoldering lava, fresh green sprouts were popping through. At first almost imperceptibly, then gradually and consistently I am reminded of the people I have left, the physical and emotional strength that remains with me, the ability I have to figure things out and to move myself and my loved ones forward and out of the abyss of sorrow.
Yes, Friends, when loss moves in like the darkness of a tornadic sky, center yourself and just wait. Before long you will feel the relief of a tender ray of sunlight on your cheek. And you will know that there is still so much to be grateful for.

Over 50 and Moving Forward After Loss?

You need to work on the INNER (nutrition, exercise, peace-of-mind meditation, journaling to resolve your worries) and the OUTER (fix yourself up, wear nice clothes, hold yourself up proudly and don a smile).

I specialize in coaching widows and widowers rebuild their lives after the devastating loss of a loved one. Don't go it alone. You are past the rawest part of the bereavement. Now it is time to think of YOU. You have important work to do in this lifetime. I want to help you discover what that is. Info@dolcevitaseminars.com

Time Does NOT Heal All Wounds--completely

The sorrow of a profound loss, such as that of a spouse or child, never dissipates completely. I don't believe that "time heals all wounds". When an integral part of your life is taken from you, it is like an appendage from your very body has been ripped off, and once that happens you must go through life without it. What time DOES do, is give us the coping skills to compensate, and to get through life without that appendage. So, more than "getting over" loss, it is better said that we evolve, we increase our understanding, our compassion, our appreciation for what remains.

Reinventing onself after loss is a necessity, for life is no longer the familiar pattern we were used to. It has changed, and it is changed forever. We are now corageous and will forge a new life, a strong life, an important life, and make our lives matter the best way they can, in loving memory of those we may have lost.

So while time does not take away the sorrow, it does give us a new realization of what we are made of. We are made of courage, integrity, strength, honesty, goodness. And from here on it we will put one foot in front of the other and go forward.

Please write and let me know the lessons in your lost, how you put one foot in front of the other and rebuilt your life. Post your comments below.

Let Loss Make You Focused

You have gotten through the worst of it. Gone through days of confusion, fear, sadness, despair. You may never stop the void in your heart that comes from losing a loved one, but you can fill it up with a focused approach on taking care of YOU. I know, there are stretches of time when you cannot think about taking care of yourself; about eating right, exercising, doing things that bring a smile to your face. But now, you have stepped into the phase of rebuilding. It is time to go forward, at a pace that feels comfortable and right for you. You were not left on this earth to gather dust and drown in a pool of tears. I like to think that living the best life you can is a tribute to the memory of one who has meant so much to me in my life.

You can rise above the cloud of confusion by taking just one tiny step forward. A definitive, intentional step that you have chosen to make your life better. What will it be? You tell me, but posting to this blog. Love life and go foward.

Light and Love,
Raeleen

Signs and Guidance Following a Loss

• Have you experienced the painful loss of a loved one?
• Or lost a valued relationship with a loved one?
• Have you lost faith in your ability to make your life work?
• Has your self-esteem has also taken a dive?
• Do you want to start rebuilding your life and going forward?

Believe me, I know your pain.

Perhaps immediately following your loss you availed yourself of the help of a professional psychotherapist, bereavement counselor, financial planner,housing counselor, or found books and resources that have helped. But now that you are past the major trauma of your loss, you know it is time to gently get back to rebuilding your life--sometimes starting over from scratch.

My name is Raeleen Mautner, Ph.D.. I am a life coach and personal development consultant who specializes in helping people rebuild and redefine their lives after a major loss. I have done it myself, and have gathered the resources and information that can help you do it, too.

No one just gets over a major loss and returns to the way things were as if nothing happened. Instead, recovery from loss is about developing the coping skills you need to help you live the best life you can--despite your tragic loss. It is about letting your loss make you stronger, wiser, more appreciative. And more focused. It is about getting the "messages" that are meant for you each day--messages of encouragement ;wisdom; beauty. Some people call them signs. Signs that direct and guide you through and out of your loss might come to you in the words you hear someone say or those you read in a random passage in a book. You may get inspiration from a dream. Or from a coincidence that didn't quite happen by chance.
Write and tell me about your loss, and about the signs you have received since.

Love and Light,
Raeleen